made-in-minnesota

Sunday's are for...

Currently?  Sunday's are for no alarms.  Sunday's are for catching up on work.  Sunday's are for doing absolutely nothing, but spending time with the kids before the crazy week starts all over again.

This is a post that has nothing to do with work.  This is a post that has to do with emotions and strong feelings towards my husband and I being told that Sunday's HAVE to be about church.  Here's the deal...if you have been following along with my journey, you know my feelings about church.  I'm not talking faith.  I'm not talking Jesus.  I'm not talking worship.  I am talking about the notion of a building.  Where you gather with others to celebrate all of the great things God is doing in your life.  The place you gather when you are hurting.  The place you gather when you need prayer.  

My opinions on this matter are mine.  My emotions on this matter are mine alone.  When I say we, I am referring to my family and past situations that have brought us here.  Church is tough for us.  Not for my kids, but for my husband and I.  We trusted a man, a leader of our church.  A man who turned his back on us and shunned us out because we chose not to follow his agenda.  An agenda that was his alone, not God's.  A church where my husband and I were both leaders.  This man is now the lead pastor of another church plant..his third senior pastor job. You may be thinking, suck it up, where is your forgiveness and I will tell you without thinking about it, I will not be able to forgive this man.  He changed the course of our life..we had a five year old, a two year old, a mortgage.  Since our experience at Evergreen, we have been to church only a handful of times and this man starting out new, with a new church body, has dredge up all these emotions because I know what he is capable of and how he hurt so many people and he now has the potential to do it again.  This man is a freakin' tornado.

Rant over..but listen to this....DO NOT tell me.  DO NOT tell my husband or my kids that the best place to be is in a church, side by side with your friends, your family, fellow worshippers...where you can pray for each other and love each other like Jesus...I feel as if this is so far from the truth...and this is why...last night, while cleaning up the kitchen, my little fam of four had a hard core worship session...while washing dishes...we cranked the music, we raised our hands, we sang as loud as we could..because JESUS is everywhere.  He is in my heart.  He is in my babies hearts.  HE has taught us compassion, love and forgiveness.  I am not there yet with the full-on forgiveness, but my kids don't need to know all of that...all I want is for them to have an open heart, an open mind and know that there is a God that loves them regardless, regardless if they are in a church with a steeple, they are driving down highway 65 belting out Chris Tomlin, they are in the bathtub rocking out to Mercy Me...they know love.  They know the love of Jesus, because we have shown them that love.  The trust..the power of Christ and when they are old enough they will make that choice for themselves.  They will choose or not choose to be a believer.  I can only hope they choose Jesus, but that is up to them.  I will  love them regardless, because love is love..in a church, in a car, on a walk, in a sunset, at Rainy Lake...that is the amazing thing about faith, people.  Faith is everywhere.

Don't judge. Don't force your religion on people. Don't force your values on people. Let them make that decision for themselves....because NO ONE, ABSOLUTELY NO ONE, KNOWS OUR HEARTS LIKE JESUS DOES.  NO ONE.

-Marianne 


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